Mahmoud

written by Mahmoud’s mother, Bushra Awad

Mahmoud,

You were the first real joy in my life. I waited for you for five years to bring light into my world. When the family is sitting around the table and you are not there with us, I miss you so much. This brings on such deep pain that you are gone.

I did not want you to leave the house on that terrible day. I was upset and did not want you to go outside, but you were also worried about your brothers who were out of the house. You left the house and brought them home safely.

I thought you were at home in your room studying. But I was wrong. You went out again and never came back. I thought that this was the end of my world, and nearly died with you but because of your brothers and sisters and your father I survived with all this terrible pain which never goes away. Another reason is that you have a little brother. I called him Mahmoud.

Mahmoud my love, the love of my life, you wanted to live in peace and because of that I joined the Parents Circle – Families Forum, bereaved Palestinian and Israeli families working for change.

These words of peace I shout out loud, so that there will be no more victims as a result of the conflict.

My son, Mahmoud, be proud of me, as I am of you.

Mahmoud,

You were the first real joy in my life. I waited for you for five years to bring light into my world. When the family is sitting around the table and you are not there with us, I miss you so much. This brings on such deep pain that you are gone.

I did not want you to leave the house on that terrible day. I was upset and did not want you to go outside, but you were also worried about your brothers who were out of the house. You left the house and brought them home safely.

I thought you were at home in your room studying. But I was wrong. You went out again and never came back. I thought that this was the end of my world, and nearly died with you but because of your brothers and sisters and your father I survived with all this terrible pain which never goes away. Another reason is that you have a little brother. I called him Mahmoud.

Mahmoud my love, the love of my life, you wanted to live in peace and because of that I joined the Parents Circle – Families Forum, bereaved Palestinian and Israeli families working for change.

These words of peace I shout out loud, so that there will be no more victims as a result of the conflict.

My son, Mahmoud, be proud of me, as I am of you.