I visited Beit Jala yesterday as part of a meeting of the Parents Circle Women’s Group. About 30 Jewish and Palestinian women joined, all bereaved.
This was my first time at such a meeting. Sitting next to me were women who were new to the group, like me, and others who had known each other for years and who would not give up on the meeting and the deep friendships that had formed between them.
In our round of introductions, I discovered that some of the women from the West Bank, in addition to being bereaved, also had a family member in detention. Some had a large number of family members killed and injured in Gaza. And despite the difficulty of free movement (there are currently about 900 checkpoints throughout the West Bank) and the fear of encountering soldiers or rioting settlers (we saw the devastating result of such an encounter the night before, when soldiers fired on a vehicle and killed a 7-month-old baby), they make an effort to come. One of them brought her two young daughters so that they could meet Jewish women – all with the understanding that continued radicalization and revenge will only bring continued death and suffering.
The human encounter was very moving for me. They all dressed nicely for the encounter and together we enjoyed a lunch of oven-baked chicken, vegetable rice, and carrot salad with hot peppers.
In the end, behind the violent, limiting, and impossible reality that we and they experience are people who want to live and take care of their family members.
As part of my search for a fix, with the goal that 10/7/23 won’t happen again and that no one will experience the devastation that I, my family, and my friends from the Nir Oz community experienced, I understood that we need to address the root of the conflict and not continue to sweep it under the rug (“manage, mow the lawn”). I understood that it starts with getting to know the other side, understanding that they are also human. Solutions already exist, but we need to sow the desire to promote them. Familiarity is the foundation.
How many of us know ‘the other side’ closely? Not through definitions (doctor, schoolmate, worker), but as a person? Have we ever really tried to do this?
This is why I chose to participate in this type of meeting. To get to know, to strengthen my belief that there are people here with hope for a normal life, and to strengthen those Palestinian women who, despite the difficult reality in which they live, believe that it is worth fighting for peace and that there is someone with whom to live.
This is how bridges of trust and hope grow.
Written by Ayala Metzger from Nir Oz. Her family was taken hostage and killed on October 7, 2023. She was a leader of the Hostage & Missing Families Forum, and now is an active member of the Parents Circle.
